Secretary Reduced to Pig Slut
You can't be serious; please tell me this is some kind of early April Fool's joke. It isn't? I've been working for your company for just shy of 15 years; how can I suddenly be too fat to be the face of your office? Just look at me?! I suppose... I have gained more than just a little bit of weight over the years. Please, Sir, I need this job! I'll do anything that you want me to do if you let me keep my job.
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